I need help and advice?????????????

i was with my friends the other day and they told me about their cutting. I showed them the scars for the first time then. i hav had major depression and anxiety for almost a year and controlled my urge to cut by writing on my wrists for about a month. i told them how i used scratch my back, cut my nails to make sharp points to scratch my wrists, burn my hand by putting it to and oven and cut once or twice.. i want to help them and also myself because i am doing everything i possibly can to not cut myself deeply and i don't want to get to that point. i have been faking smiles for almost a year with them because i don't want to upset them. i feel like a horrible friend for not being there for them when they needed help even though i do everything im going through without help too but that is only because i feel like a burdun to everyone i talk too. i feel so lost and td and i dont want them to feel that way for as long as i have. i need advice on this situation.